Michelle Obama can win the 2020 presidential election without even running a campaign.
We will survive Trump.
We will outlast him. Won't we?
It was time to deal with Trump... We didn't.
It's going to take one man with the courage cleverness and influence to rid this country of the worst plague it's ever experienced. Freedom has had a bowel movement and it's called Donald J. Trump. It's clearly not up to a pathetic 20-year-old expat Brit named Michael Sandford.
Who will bell this cat?
Who has the most to lose? The Republican Party. Who is in charge? Paul Ryan, but he hasn't the skill, the wit nor the courage. Mitch McConnell? He's devious and ballsy enough, but simply impotent.
They need to get together and call Jim Comey. Trump is a walking talking hate crime. But they need the authority and only their archenemy Barack H. Obama has that. It's time for a deal. A real Executive Order. They need to meet him in the Oval Office and offer him a real deal, a great deal. They need to do whatever they can to save the Grand Old Party. They may well lose this election, but with Trump in front and the Tea Party already in the castle Keep the whole party will fragment and collapse. Ryan and McConnell need to act now.
October, 2015
Paul Ryan's office was quiet. Only one aide remained on duty over the holiday weekend. It was about 7pm when the cell by his couch chimed. Ryan picked it up himself.
"Did you read it?"
"Of course I read it. Everybody must have read it. It's all over Facebook. My people tell me adults are Snapchatting about it. Twitter is going crazy. My call center is overloaded."
"Mine too. What do you think? Can we do it? Will you call Giuliano and feel him out on Comey, or should I?" McConnell was never the first one in. Never. Ryan was the guy to get this going. They both knew it.
"I'll make the call. Did you hear from Adelson?"
"Of course I did. Why do you think I'm calling you in the middle of the night?"
"Middle of the night? Hell Mitch, it's just past 7."
"Too late for me. Too late for all of us. Adelson said 'Just get it done' so you make the call. I'll support you. We'll get Giuliano and Comey on our side and get it done. The FBI has the power to arrest him."
Ryan stopped. "But what can we offer Obama? He knows we've lost. He knows he just has to sit and wait. He knows he can watch us all just go away, just like Regan watched Gorbachev. God what an irony."
McConnell whimpered, "Offer him Garland. I can do it. I'll make the offer. He knows I can push that through in a week. Let's just get Giuliano to get Comey on board and we'll go to the Oval together.
"Don't we need Brennan too?" Ryan shot back, "We're going to have to make him just disappear. We'll have to get him out of the country. As soon as his lawyers find out they'll have a judge sign papers before we can even get him to the Hoover Building." Ryan was thinking much more aggressively than the older Senator.
"Okay. You're right. Better let me be the one to call Giuliano and get Comey on board. The FBI is a good cover. You be the one to call Brennan directly. You have a relationship. That's what we'll do. Brennan can take him from Comey's FBI guys on the highway before they even get to the Hoover Building. We can figure out what to do next after he's out of the country. Adelson said to call Ailes. What do you think?"
Ryan paused for only a minute. "If he said to call Ailes, then call Ailes."
"Should I call him before I call Giuliano or after?"
"I don't give a goodgoddamn Mitch. Just do it. I'll call Brennan. Alright? You get Giuliano and Comey on board. Then I'll make the call to Denis McDonough to set up the meeting in the Oval.
"Mitch, you have two calls to make. Just make them. Make them now."
Ryan thumbed his cell and threw it on the coffee table. He knew Brennan. He knew he was ready and willing to do whatever needed doing. No problem there. Whatever Ailes wanted to do was his business. Let the two old geezers have their fun. Adelson and Ailes. This is what the country's come to. Better than Trump though. Better not wait; just get in quick touch with John. Brennan would figure it all out from there. He knew what to do with people like Trump. He knew for sure. Better plug Rupert in on this one, though I'm sure he already knows. He always does.
* * * * *
Roger Ailes was expecting the call. Ryan was right. Rupert already knew. Those Guys!
Ailes wasn't expecting it would take until 6pm. It was already 9pm in DC. He wasn't waiting around. He'd already gotten in touch with Linda Carruthers in Sydney. This was going to be the pinnacle of his career; an international story never conceived of. It took an old coot like Adelson to figure out how to make his money back. 2012 had not been a good bet. Time to double down. The deck was right for Adelson. For Ailes, this would be his legacy for television programming, for the world.
It was early-morning in Australia and Carruthers was getting her team together to fly over with Barbra McKay and coordinate with Sharri Berg. Berg would just plug them in to the US operations and let them go. She knew how to do that very well. Enter: The Good Old Girls Network.
The two top production execs in the business were working up the battle plan for the biggest Reality Show ever conceived. Those two would not miss a beat. They just had to work together. They would. They both sounded very enthusiastic. McKay would just have to allow Linda to do what she does best and back her. You just had to hope they'd both see this as the opportunity it was. This could last for months. It could run 24 hours a day every day.
Ailes just needed to be sure John Brennan wasn't going to go all tight-ass about access. That wasn't his job. Brennan knew his job alright. Sometimes he just thought bigger than he ought to. Media access. It was American. Brennan hated Trump so much it just couldn't become a problem. If it did, then they'd have to deal with it. For now. John Brennan was to be a national hero. He was a perfect Star of the Show. America needed to love somebody and it wasn't going to be Obama or Ryan. Watching Comey hand Trump off to Brennan and then off to Gitmo. That was the plan. A camera crew was on its way to Havana to set up for the arrival. But there was so much to do first. He had to get word that the deal was done and then get into the logistics. Nothing ever went as planned. That was the real Reality TV. But the girls would know how to handle this. They were the best. They knew this would make their place in broadcasting history. Adelson was a genius. A rich genius.
* * * * *
Lynda Carruthers was simply not surprised to get the call from Roger Ailes. She listened with minimal questions, asking only "When?"
Ailes had assured her he'd let her know as soon as the meeting was scheduled with the White House and she should be ready to roll and coordinate with McKay. "Barbra? Fine. Is she good with that?"
"I'm calling her next. She's good with everything. It's your show, but you need to have a strong partner. Barbra is as strong as we've got."
"Right, Roger. Call me when you know the timetable or if you need anything." She tapped off and took a breath. From head of Children's Programming, to International Production Chief to this. Was there a bit of irony here? Was this not just adult children's programming?
The Belling of Donald Trump. That's what Roger had called it. That's what it would be. The Belling and then some. She would orchestrate the then some. This would definitely go on for a month, maybe three. Maybe forever. There would be no second season, no sequel, nothing like it ever. She'd rely on Barbra McKay for all the operational support she'd need. Barbra had eight active freelance camera crews available for her in DC with four in training, courtesy of Sharri Berg. They'd need all of them. The regular schedule would see a burst of new personnel hires. It would be good for the industry. That's what they could play up. This was good for the industry. It was a jobs creator. Donald Trump would finally deliver on one of his promises willingly or not. Wonder what we can do about that wall?
Sharri Berg also treated the call as business as usual. Roger Ailes calling in the early evening was expected. Shari and Roger had seen eye to eye from the beginning. Berg knew her place and liked it just fine. As Senior Vice President, News Operations, she got respect and they got things done. All things, all the time. This would be no different although she resisted the urge to call in Legal. Roger's neck. Not hers.
"Just do what the ladies ask. That’s all you need to do. Nothing preemptive. I trust them. Do you?' Ailes had asked.
"Of course, Roger. They know what to do. Our folks in New York love those Aussies. There won't be any problems. Do you foresee any?"
"I don't know. That's your job. Just call me if you see anything coming over the hill at us."
"I'll give Lynda a call right now and get things going. Have a good night Roger." Sharri was on it. The two Americans would make everything work out for their Australian Producers.
* * * * *
When John Brennan got the call from Paul Ryan he listened calmly. This was a call with a solution. This was not another problem. This was actually a solution. How many times had that happened since March of 2013? Hard to remember.
Ryan seemed a bit disappointed at what he heard as a lack of enthusiasm. Ryan was new, young, just a bit callow. As long as Comey and Lynch sanctioned it, there was nothing for Brennan to worry about except transportation and accommodations. Accommodations? Yes, Gitmo would work. No problem. What else would they want? Who could guess? But they weren't going to get much more from his team. Getting that orange weed out of the garden would be fine enough for him and the rest of the country. Let Justice handle the legal end, the prosecution, the interrogations, the media. CIA would just pick him up from the FBI and drop him off 90 miles southeast. No problem. Just a solution. He looked forward to seeing Ryan and McConnell work Obama in the Big O. They were in for a surprise.
Mark Giuliano patched Comey into the call in less than 90 seconds. This was a no-doubter. Comey wanted to call Lynch and get the go-ahead, but Mitch made him promise to hold off. Obama had to be the one to ask her. All he wanted was for Comey to be at the White House outside the Oval Office when he and Ryan met with POTUS. God, how he hated to use that name. Not for much longer though. Get this done. Wait a few months and the world would get back to normal. His normal. Kentucky Normal. McConnell couldn't believe how easy it all went.
Within five minutes he was asking his old friend Josh Holmes to contact Roger Ailes as instructed. Josh knew Roger better. Maybe he'd just tell him and save himself the chore of dealing with that guy. What a pain in the arse he had always been. Things went as he hoped. For once.
* * * * *
Tina Tchen called FLOTUS to tell her a call would be coming in for a late night meeting with Ryan and McConnell. She didn't know anything more, but knew that Michelle had expected to get to bed at a reasonable hour for a change. Less than 6 months to go of this craziness for her. She never asked for it and couldn't wait to get out of the Arena. Her mother Marion was just as eager. The two younger girls didn't seem to care. But here was a short courtesy call from her Chief of Staff to let her know that the day might not be over. Barack would be debriefing with somebody, and that somebody would be Michelle. Maybe just one glass of Vouvray tonight?
* * * * *
"Mitch, are you all set?"
"Yes. Everything went pretty smoothly. Now it's just up to us. Josh said we should be at the Oval at 11, no later. Can you imagine that? 'No later.' they said. The nerve of that man. We're coming to him, and his man says to my man 'No later!'"
"Enough already Mitch. Are you sure you can get your people to approve Garland?"
"Of course not. I can't get them to approve Monday. They're all tied up with who knows what. You know the Judiciary Committee. Maybe not. Well I do. We'll just promise it will be done. Grassley will do what has to be done, but Cruz is still an arsehole and that Franken is just a putz, excuse my Yiddish, heh....Bloomenthal, Durbin and Coons will jump at the chance. We'll just have to wait and see. What does it matter really? I'd just as soon see it get blocked. All we can do is try, right?"
"Mitch, we're making a deal here. You may not be around next year, but I will be. I'm not John Boehner. You'd better have more than that. It's not some low country jerkoff you're dealing with. My name is going on this. You confirmed that Comey would be there?"
"Yes, yes. Jim will be there. No problem. But what about Lynch? She's kind of a loose end. What about her?"
"Nothing. Nothing about her. I've got Brennan set to be there waiting outside with Comey. Once we spell it out to Obama, he has to be the one to call Lynch. If he knows that Jim and John are there and on board it will be easier. He won't take kindly to us giving orders to his AG. She wouldn't listen to either of us anyway."
"What if she balks? What if she says No?"
"Mitch! Just be there at 10:30. Be sure to give Roger Ailes a call to confirm the meeting. Did you speak to Adelson?"
"Of course. Of course. He... They're all set. I'll call them when we're done. It's two hours earlier for that old coot. He's up at all hours anyway. Counting his money. This is what it's come to. Glad I'll be done with these people soon. Elaine and I can't wait to just go home."
"Not yet, old man. Not yet. See you at 10:30. Stay awake. I'll do the talking. When he asks what he gets, just tell him 'Rosenwald within a week' and say no more. Nothing. Just sit there and look at him like it's the last time you'll ever have to. It probably will be. I'll take it from there."
It was 9:30. Time enough for a quick shower and a short ride. Ryan was ready to take back his party.
* * * * *
Linda Carruthers was in the air with Barbra McKay in the seat opposite. They were on board the company's Gulfstream G650. They were cutting it close. It was 7,456 miles from Sydney to LA and the safe flight range for the G650 was 7,000 miles. They never really played it 'safe', but never foolish. By the time they were over Honolulu the pilot would know if the jet stream tail winds had given them the extra push they needed to make it in just one hop. Grab a quick breakfast in the hangar in Long Beach, make some calls and on to La Guardia. They'd sleep a bit on this leg and be well in charge of a going operation by the time they left Long Beach.
The Skype screen was active and clear.
"Have you got clearance for us to approach Trump before they take him?" Lynda Carruthers asked Roger Ailes.
"No, not yet. I can't talk to Comey until after the meeting. They're probably with Obama now. They'll call me as soon as it's decided. I think they need to get Loretta Lynch in on it. That might delay things until after midnight there. I can't tell. I'll ask. What do you have in mind?"
"I lust want to get one of my people in to see Trump. It should be easy. I already spoke to Megyn Kelly. She's eager."
"Wait! What did you tell her?"
"Not much, just that we needed to get quick access to Trump and would she be willing to make an early morning call on him. Nothing more. Once you get the go-ahead I'll tell her that we want to plant a mini-mike on him. The one that fits on the back of the collar. I asked if she would be willing to get that close to him. She sounded very excited. She asked why. I told her I couldn't explain just yet, but I would tell her whatever I could before she met with him. I told her to just hold on and be the professional that she is. I wanted to tell her Trump was about to be the Stooge that he was, but I held back a bit. Business. Right?"
"Right" sighed Ailes. "Right. She'll get it done. Perfect choice."
"Any chance for a small camera in the transport vehicle?"
"No idea. I didn't think to ask, but that's good. That's good. Full disclosure. Comey will like that; like officers wear body cams. Everything transparent. No false claims of abuse. All due process. He'll like that. I'll wait to ask about that. Once they have the time for pickup set, I'll just throw it in to "protect his office from criticism". He'll like that. I don't know about Brennan. He's a tough old nut. I can only try. The CIA guys are wild cards."
"Maybe we can get two, one in front one from behind?"
"I'll get at least one. I'm sure. We'll do it. I'll take care of it. You're thinking Linda. You're thinking. Why am I surprised?"
"That was all Barbra to tell you the truth. We're doing well. We have a plan."
Barbra McKay poked her head into the Skype screen.
"Hello, Roger. Isn't that why you called me too? We're doing that Batman and Robin thing you Americans like so much. Just sometimes I get to be Batman. It's all good. No worries."
"Okay ladies. Sounds like you have things well in hand. If you need anything else at all that falls short of the Oval Office deal with Sharri Berg. She's on notice in New York and will be available all night long for you. She's eager to help out. Everybody wants to be a part of a win, and this is going to be a big Win. Probably the biggest. You ladies are in charge. It's your names on it."
"Have a good night Roger. Get some sleep." The Skype screen froze and beeped off. Ailes got on the phone with Adelson who seemed pleased. A short text to Rupert and his night would continue on, at least until he heard from Paul Ryan. Then he could get some sleep. One way or the other.
* * * * *
"How'd you know they'd be calling? Really. How come Tina Tchen called you and not me? Things are going to change around here come January. I promise you. What are they coming for? Why doesn't she know that?"
Michelle stared at the empty glass of what was crisp white Vouvray that had been nicely chilled just 45 minutes ago and now gone.
"Barry, chill. I don't know. I tell you what I know, not what I think I know."
"Well, what do you think you know?"
"I think those two crackers are trying to screw you somehow. What else is there to think? When was the last time McConnell called for an appointment? You'd better put on your cast iron jock or get a jar full of KY because they're not up at 11pm for a chat. They're down there now talking things over. They'll be up in a half hour. Just you wait. You know how to do that. You do it very well. It's your strength. Use it."
"Are the girls asleep?"
"How do I know? Of course they're asleep. Maybe not. What kind of question is that? Just chill, Barry. This is going to be a good one. Settle in. You're so much better than them. Just Be better than them. You've got this. All I know is what you know. Their ship is sinking. Deal with the rats. You can do that. Just don't get nipped. Not too badly. You've got this. This is what you do. I'm going to listen. Is that alright?"
"Sure. Sure. Has Marion gone to bed?"
"What do you care about my mother for? She knows when to sleep and when not. I don't ask her when she sleeps. She's good. The girls are good. You've got something good coming up. Just know that. This is something Good. You just make it even better. Lay back and relax. This is what you do best. You've got them. Just play them. You've got six months to go. A full 24 seconds, right? Just play that clock. Your team is right here. Lay back and listen. Take what they give. Then decide. They're giving something. That old bastard's not up at an hour from midnight for the fun of it. They're going to give something. Something pretty big. Hey, what if I just walk in? Won't that set them aside? I can do that. What do you think?"
"No. You're overthinking it. I'm overthinking it. I'll just wait. It's only another twenty minutes. I think we've got something here. We'll wait twenty minutes and find out. How come Tina didn't call me? I'm telling you. Things are going to change around here after January. Big time."
* * * * *
"That's it. He's committed a Hate Crime. Many of them. Jim Comey is right outside that door ready to enforce the law. He'll arrest him with a proper warrant. All you have to do is have Loretta Lynch authorize it, authorize the proper paperwork and Comey will do the rest. He'll hand him off en route to the Hoover Building before Trump's lawyers can get to a judge. Brennan will take him from there and off to Gitmo. Out of reach. He's a walking National Security threat. Brennan is right outside sitting beside Comey. They're both on board. FBI and CIA. All you have to do is give the order, an Executive Order to your Attorney General. If there's any question that he's committed hate crimes, let the courts decide. It's a sure thing that 79% of the American People think so. Your people. Your country. We need to stand together on this." Ryan paused and used those clear blue eyes that had stood him so well in the past. McConnell leered behind his glasses, eyes magnified like a Disney character.
POTUS sat back and took it in. Okay, now. Go left.
"And what do I get out of all this?"
Ryan. "What do you mean, 'What do you get?'? You get justice for the American people. You get to rid the country of the worst stench in our history. You get to stand up to the billionaire class and show America what you're really worth. This will be your legacy. Ridding the country of the worst threat to our democracy since World War II. This is your legacy. That's what you get."
Obama. Go Right; "What else?"
McConnell: "I'll giveyouGarlandinaweek."
Obama plants: "Eh?"
McConnell rises: I'll have Merrick Rosenwald confirmed by the Judiciary Committee within a week's time of Trump's arrest."
Ryan's hand reaches out and wordlessly settles McConnell back in his seat.
Obama sets: "Seven days? What about Cruz?"
Ryan reaches in: "We've got Cruz. We've got people in Texas. We've got Cruz."
Obama: "People in Texas? You've got people in Texas? What have you been saving them for? You've got no people in Texas."
"He'll be outvoted. He's just one vote. Mitch will get it out of committee, to the floor and to a vote. The senators all love Rosenwald. You know that. They want to just give their constitutional advice and consent and be done with it. Everybody wins. " Ryan exhaled.
McConnell didn't move a muscle, except for that slight hand tremor that had just started outside the Oval. He was a bit worried about that. Wonder if Elaine had noticed? Just get this meeting over. Just get it done. Call Adelson. Go home. It was late. Was it time to go? It was. It was time to go. Ryan's hand was still on his leg. He didn't move any further.
Obama looks up: "I think this would be something for Loretta Lynch to handle. Maybe get Hillary's input?"
Ryan goes for it: "Lynch? Yes of course. Of course call the Attorney General. By all means Mr. President. But Hillary? Why Hillary?"
Obama: "Why not? Will you gentlemen excuse me for a minute while I make a call or two?'
Ryan is off the floor falling into the crowd as Barack swoops into the basket unobstructed. The two congressmen are left sitting on the sofa as The President leaves by the side door. They stare at each other.
McConnell: "Is he going to do it?"
Ryan: "Of course he is. But what else is he going to do? Why Hillary? What do we need Hillary for? What does he need Hillary for?"
McConnell" "Can we go now?"
Ryan: "Wait. Just wait a minute"
Comey and Brennan shared a late cup of coffee.
"Longer than I thought." said Comey.
Brennan just sipped.
Michelle met Barry's gaze with a quizzical kind of cuteness that reminded him of their days dating. He had it. He knew he had it. He just wasn't quite sure exactly what he had. Not yet. But it was coming, and he would wait. Waiting worked. Sometimes you just had to wait in order to find the right wait. This felt right. He sat with Michelle. She was silent, as was Barry.
Hillary? Bill? Maybe both. Maybe neither. We needed to just wait a bit. Give things a chance to perk.
* * * * *
Barbra said, "We need to get a crew into Gitmo. Is that going to be possible?"
"We can only ask, but it's a Must." said Lynda.
"Time for America to open up about that place anyway. Good chance to make a clean breast of it. They'll go for it. I'll give it a Crack. Those blokes are easier than you think.” Linda continued. "If I don't break through, you just step in and take it home. I've never met an American military that couldn't be had by an Aussie Bird. Certainly not two of us. We'll get the cameras in. No doubt."
"But that place is all solitary, isn't it? I wanted to get some interaction with Trump and all those Muslims. That would be something, wouldn't it? Maybe they could give him a new roommate every week or so? Watch him try to make deals with them? Wonder if they have any Mexicans at Gitmo? That would be good. Maybe we could convince them to bring some in? Special for us. I mean special for them. Maybe it would be a good interrogation technique? Catch the old Donald off-guard and all, you know? Maybe throw in a Black or two? Make him feel like he was back in Queens, you know? He'll loosen up. We can do this job better than those Yanks if they give us a chance."
Barbra seemed quite comfortable with this project. She was good. Always at the top of her class. Linda was the Senior here, and that was fine. Linda was smart, quick and just a bit dodgy when she had to be. That was good. Let Linda lead the parade. Keep her up front. She gets the credits. I'll just do the work. I like the work. I'd like to get this Donald down on his knees. Megyn was a great choice. She'll be the first of us girls. She earned it. Linda can run this show. Sharri Berg will back her to the hilt. Trump never should have made that remark about Elie Wiesel. I think that finished it for him anyway. The goat-headed jerk had to say it out loud. Just had to.
"And my sincerest condolences to the Weasel family. Elie was a big important Jew. He was a Beeyoutiful man. What a Jew. A Jew to be proud of. My daughter Ivanca is a Jew now, you know. Yeah. She married a Jew named Jared. He’s a very important person in my organization now. You need Jews in this world. They're my favorite people. They love me.
What's that? What’d you say? Weasel. Elie Weasel. He just died. It's a tragedy. What? What do you mean WeeZELLL? Weasel, Weezell, what difference does it make? He's a Jew. A big important Jew. Some people I know call him Weasel. Some very important Jews I know call him Weasel. Isn’t that the way you say it? He's a Jew. You say tomayto, I say tomahto. Who cares? He's famous and I miss him. My whole family misses him. My daughter Ivanca especially. Weasel, WeeZELL? Who cares? He’s a famous Jew and he's gone now. Show some respect."
That was on 60 Minutes. Lara Logan had gotten it out of him and just sat back and let him run with it. She never interrupted once, just smiled and urged him on.
Sharri heard it and about 14 million viewers. Biggest audience since Obama in his first term. It just took off from there. It wasn't just the Jews. He'd already beaten them down with his Hillary/ six pointed star tweet. It was the world. But all that mattered to Linda and Barbra was that Shari Berg was on their side and putting in the extra miles to make this happen. Sharri had suggested that they go for the 24-hour coverage with a hidden mike and camera. Catch the interaction between Trump and the real people. The real FBI agents. The real CIA agents. The real Muslims, real Mexicans, real African Americans. Just keep it going day after day. It might never go stale. The Art of the Deal. Trump at his Best.
America saved. The world saved.
But as that thought passed through Barbra's mind, Barack sat with Michelle pondering.
Barbra and Lynda had made their calls. The crews were assembling. None of them knew why. It was just the two ladies on that $64 million Gulfstream G650 hoping for the tailwinds that would allow them a non stop flight straight on through to their private hangar in Long Beach. Time to take a nap. The Gulfstream had full size beds, more comfortable than her wonderful flat in Milson Point looking over the Harbor Bridge and the Opera House. This was going to be a performance beyond compare. From Sydney to New York To Belgrade, Paris, Tokyo and Rio. The whole world would be watching 24 hours a day every day as the Donald made deals to stay alive and comfortable. Payback was truly "a bitch" as the Americans would say. So would Megyn, Lynda, Barbra, Lara and Sharri.
to be continued...
Who will bell this cat?
Who has the most to lose? The Republican Party. Who is in charge? Paul Ryan, but he hasn't the skill, the wit nor the courage. Mitch McConnell? He's devious and ballsy enough, but simply impotent.
They need to get together and call Jim Comey. Trump is a walking talking hate crime. But they need the authority and only their archenemy Barack H. Obama has that. It's time for a deal. A real Executive Order. They need to meet him in the Oval Office and offer him a real deal, a great deal. They need to do whatever they can to save the Grand Old Party. They may well lose this election, but with Trump in front and the Tea Party already in the castle Keep the whole party will fragment and collapse. Ryan and McConnell need to act now.
October, 2015
Paul Ryan's office was quiet. Only one aide remained on duty over the holiday weekend. It was about 7pm when the cell by his couch chimed. Ryan picked it up himself.
"Did you read it?"
"Of course I read it. Everybody must have read it. It's all over Facebook. My people tell me adults are Snapchatting about it. Twitter is going crazy. My call center is overloaded."
"Mine too. What do you think? Can we do it? Will you call Giuliano and feel him out on Comey, or should I?" McConnell was never the first one in. Never. Ryan was the guy to get this going. They both knew it.
"I'll make the call. Did you hear from Adelson?"
"Of course I did. Why do you think I'm calling you in the middle of the night?"
"Middle of the night? Hell Mitch, it's just past 7."
"Too late for me. Too late for all of us. Adelson said 'Just get it done' so you make the call. I'll support you. We'll get Giuliano and Comey on our side and get it done. The FBI has the power to arrest him."
Ryan stopped. "But what can we offer Obama? He knows we've lost. He knows he just has to sit and wait. He knows he can watch us all just go away, just like Regan watched Gorbachev. God what an irony."
McConnell whimpered, "Offer him Garland. I can do it. I'll make the offer. He knows I can push that through in a week. Let's just get Giuliano to get Comey on board and we'll go to the Oval together.
"Don't we need Brennan too?" Ryan shot back, "We're going to have to make him just disappear. We'll have to get him out of the country. As soon as his lawyers find out they'll have a judge sign papers before we can even get him to the Hoover Building." Ryan was thinking much more aggressively than the older Senator.
"Okay. You're right. Better let me be the one to call Giuliano and get Comey on board. The FBI is a good cover. You be the one to call Brennan directly. You have a relationship. That's what we'll do. Brennan can take him from Comey's FBI guys on the highway before they even get to the Hoover Building. We can figure out what to do next after he's out of the country. Adelson said to call Ailes. What do you think?"
Ryan paused for only a minute. "If he said to call Ailes, then call Ailes."
"Should I call him before I call Giuliano or after?"
"I don't give a goodgoddamn Mitch. Just do it. I'll call Brennan. Alright? You get Giuliano and Comey on board. Then I'll make the call to Denis McDonough to set up the meeting in the Oval.
"Mitch, you have two calls to make. Just make them. Make them now."
Ryan thumbed his cell and threw it on the coffee table. He knew Brennan. He knew he was ready and willing to do whatever needed doing. No problem there. Whatever Ailes wanted to do was his business. Let the two old geezers have their fun. Adelson and Ailes. This is what the country's come to. Better than Trump though. Better not wait; just get in quick touch with John. Brennan would figure it all out from there. He knew what to do with people like Trump. He knew for sure. Better plug Rupert in on this one, though I'm sure he already knows. He always does.
* * * * *
Roger Ailes was expecting the call. Ryan was right. Rupert already knew. Those Guys!
Ailes wasn't expecting it would take until 6pm. It was already 9pm in DC. He wasn't waiting around. He'd already gotten in touch with Linda Carruthers in Sydney. This was going to be the pinnacle of his career; an international story never conceived of. It took an old coot like Adelson to figure out how to make his money back. 2012 had not been a good bet. Time to double down. The deck was right for Adelson. For Ailes, this would be his legacy for television programming, for the world.
It was early-morning in Australia and Carruthers was getting her team together to fly over with Barbra McKay and coordinate with Sharri Berg. Berg would just plug them in to the US operations and let them go. She knew how to do that very well. Enter: The Good Old Girls Network.
The two top production execs in the business were working up the battle plan for the biggest Reality Show ever conceived. Those two would not miss a beat. They just had to work together. They would. They both sounded very enthusiastic. McKay would just have to allow Linda to do what she does best and back her. You just had to hope they'd both see this as the opportunity it was. This could last for months. It could run 24 hours a day every day.
Ailes just needed to be sure John Brennan wasn't going to go all tight-ass about access. That wasn't his job. Brennan knew his job alright. Sometimes he just thought bigger than he ought to. Media access. It was American. Brennan hated Trump so much it just couldn't become a problem. If it did, then they'd have to deal with it. For now. John Brennan was to be a national hero. He was a perfect Star of the Show. America needed to love somebody and it wasn't going to be Obama or Ryan. Watching Comey hand Trump off to Brennan and then off to Gitmo. That was the plan. A camera crew was on its way to Havana to set up for the arrival. But there was so much to do first. He had to get word that the deal was done and then get into the logistics. Nothing ever went as planned. That was the real Reality TV. But the girls would know how to handle this. They were the best. They knew this would make their place in broadcasting history. Adelson was a genius. A rich genius.
* * * * *
Lynda Carruthers was simply not surprised to get the call from Roger Ailes. She listened with minimal questions, asking only "When?"
Ailes had assured her he'd let her know as soon as the meeting was scheduled with the White House and she should be ready to roll and coordinate with McKay. "Barbra? Fine. Is she good with that?"
"I'm calling her next. She's good with everything. It's your show, but you need to have a strong partner. Barbra is as strong as we've got."
"Right, Roger. Call me when you know the timetable or if you need anything." She tapped off and took a breath. From head of Children's Programming, to International Production Chief to this. Was there a bit of irony here? Was this not just adult children's programming?
The Belling of Donald Trump. That's what Roger had called it. That's what it would be. The Belling and then some. She would orchestrate the then some. This would definitely go on for a month, maybe three. Maybe forever. There would be no second season, no sequel, nothing like it ever. She'd rely on Barbra McKay for all the operational support she'd need. Barbra had eight active freelance camera crews available for her in DC with four in training, courtesy of Sharri Berg. They'd need all of them. The regular schedule would see a burst of new personnel hires. It would be good for the industry. That's what they could play up. This was good for the industry. It was a jobs creator. Donald Trump would finally deliver on one of his promises willingly or not. Wonder what we can do about that wall?
Sharri Berg also treated the call as business as usual. Roger Ailes calling in the early evening was expected. Shari and Roger had seen eye to eye from the beginning. Berg knew her place and liked it just fine. As Senior Vice President, News Operations, she got respect and they got things done. All things, all the time. This would be no different although she resisted the urge to call in Legal. Roger's neck. Not hers.
"Just do what the ladies ask. That’s all you need to do. Nothing preemptive. I trust them. Do you?' Ailes had asked.
"Of course, Roger. They know what to do. Our folks in New York love those Aussies. There won't be any problems. Do you foresee any?"
"I don't know. That's your job. Just call me if you see anything coming over the hill at us."
"I'll give Lynda a call right now and get things going. Have a good night Roger." Sharri was on it. The two Americans would make everything work out for their Australian Producers.
* * * * *
When John Brennan got the call from Paul Ryan he listened calmly. This was a call with a solution. This was not another problem. This was actually a solution. How many times had that happened since March of 2013? Hard to remember.
Ryan seemed a bit disappointed at what he heard as a lack of enthusiasm. Ryan was new, young, just a bit callow. As long as Comey and Lynch sanctioned it, there was nothing for Brennan to worry about except transportation and accommodations. Accommodations? Yes, Gitmo would work. No problem. What else would they want? Who could guess? But they weren't going to get much more from his team. Getting that orange weed out of the garden would be fine enough for him and the rest of the country. Let Justice handle the legal end, the prosecution, the interrogations, the media. CIA would just pick him up from the FBI and drop him off 90 miles southeast. No problem. Just a solution. He looked forward to seeing Ryan and McConnell work Obama in the Big O. They were in for a surprise.
Mark Giuliano patched Comey into the call in less than 90 seconds. This was a no-doubter. Comey wanted to call Lynch and get the go-ahead, but Mitch made him promise to hold off. Obama had to be the one to ask her. All he wanted was for Comey to be at the White House outside the Oval Office when he and Ryan met with POTUS. God, how he hated to use that name. Not for much longer though. Get this done. Wait a few months and the world would get back to normal. His normal. Kentucky Normal. McConnell couldn't believe how easy it all went.
Within five minutes he was asking his old friend Josh Holmes to contact Roger Ailes as instructed. Josh knew Roger better. Maybe he'd just tell him and save himself the chore of dealing with that guy. What a pain in the arse he had always been. Things went as he hoped. For once.
* * * * *
Tina Tchen called FLOTUS to tell her a call would be coming in for a late night meeting with Ryan and McConnell. She didn't know anything more, but knew that Michelle had expected to get to bed at a reasonable hour for a change. Less than 6 months to go of this craziness for her. She never asked for it and couldn't wait to get out of the Arena. Her mother Marion was just as eager. The two younger girls didn't seem to care. But here was a short courtesy call from her Chief of Staff to let her know that the day might not be over. Barack would be debriefing with somebody, and that somebody would be Michelle. Maybe just one glass of Vouvray tonight?
* * * * *
"Mitch, are you all set?"
"Yes. Everything went pretty smoothly. Now it's just up to us. Josh said we should be at the Oval at 11, no later. Can you imagine that? 'No later.' they said. The nerve of that man. We're coming to him, and his man says to my man 'No later!'"
"Enough already Mitch. Are you sure you can get your people to approve Garland?"
"Of course not. I can't get them to approve Monday. They're all tied up with who knows what. You know the Judiciary Committee. Maybe not. Well I do. We'll just promise it will be done. Grassley will do what has to be done, but Cruz is still an arsehole and that Franken is just a putz, excuse my Yiddish, heh....Bloomenthal, Durbin and Coons will jump at the chance. We'll just have to wait and see. What does it matter really? I'd just as soon see it get blocked. All we can do is try, right?"
"Mitch, we're making a deal here. You may not be around next year, but I will be. I'm not John Boehner. You'd better have more than that. It's not some low country jerkoff you're dealing with. My name is going on this. You confirmed that Comey would be there?"
"Yes, yes. Jim will be there. No problem. But what about Lynch? She's kind of a loose end. What about her?"
"Nothing. Nothing about her. I've got Brennan set to be there waiting outside with Comey. Once we spell it out to Obama, he has to be the one to call Lynch. If he knows that Jim and John are there and on board it will be easier. He won't take kindly to us giving orders to his AG. She wouldn't listen to either of us anyway."
"What if she balks? What if she says No?"
"Mitch! Just be there at 10:30. Be sure to give Roger Ailes a call to confirm the meeting. Did you speak to Adelson?"
"Of course. Of course. He... They're all set. I'll call them when we're done. It's two hours earlier for that old coot. He's up at all hours anyway. Counting his money. This is what it's come to. Glad I'll be done with these people soon. Elaine and I can't wait to just go home."
"Not yet, old man. Not yet. See you at 10:30. Stay awake. I'll do the talking. When he asks what he gets, just tell him 'Rosenwald within a week' and say no more. Nothing. Just sit there and look at him like it's the last time you'll ever have to. It probably will be. I'll take it from there."
It was 9:30. Time enough for a quick shower and a short ride. Ryan was ready to take back his party.
* * * * *
Linda Carruthers was in the air with Barbra McKay in the seat opposite. They were on board the company's Gulfstream G650. They were cutting it close. It was 7,456 miles from Sydney to LA and the safe flight range for the G650 was 7,000 miles. They never really played it 'safe', but never foolish. By the time they were over Honolulu the pilot would know if the jet stream tail winds had given them the extra push they needed to make it in just one hop. Grab a quick breakfast in the hangar in Long Beach, make some calls and on to La Guardia. They'd sleep a bit on this leg and be well in charge of a going operation by the time they left Long Beach.
The Skype screen was active and clear.
"Have you got clearance for us to approach Trump before they take him?" Lynda Carruthers asked Roger Ailes.
"No, not yet. I can't talk to Comey until after the meeting. They're probably with Obama now. They'll call me as soon as it's decided. I think they need to get Loretta Lynch in on it. That might delay things until after midnight there. I can't tell. I'll ask. What do you have in mind?"
"I lust want to get one of my people in to see Trump. It should be easy. I already spoke to Megyn Kelly. She's eager."
"Wait! What did you tell her?"
"Not much, just that we needed to get quick access to Trump and would she be willing to make an early morning call on him. Nothing more. Once you get the go-ahead I'll tell her that we want to plant a mini-mike on him. The one that fits on the back of the collar. I asked if she would be willing to get that close to him. She sounded very excited. She asked why. I told her I couldn't explain just yet, but I would tell her whatever I could before she met with him. I told her to just hold on and be the professional that she is. I wanted to tell her Trump was about to be the Stooge that he was, but I held back a bit. Business. Right?"
"Right" sighed Ailes. "Right. She'll get it done. Perfect choice."
"Any chance for a small camera in the transport vehicle?"
"No idea. I didn't think to ask, but that's good. That's good. Full disclosure. Comey will like that; like officers wear body cams. Everything transparent. No false claims of abuse. All due process. He'll like that. I'll wait to ask about that. Once they have the time for pickup set, I'll just throw it in to "protect his office from criticism". He'll like that. I don't know about Brennan. He's a tough old nut. I can only try. The CIA guys are wild cards."
"Maybe we can get two, one in front one from behind?"
"I'll get at least one. I'm sure. We'll do it. I'll take care of it. You're thinking Linda. You're thinking. Why am I surprised?"
"That was all Barbra to tell you the truth. We're doing well. We have a plan."
Barbra McKay poked her head into the Skype screen.
"Hello, Roger. Isn't that why you called me too? We're doing that Batman and Robin thing you Americans like so much. Just sometimes I get to be Batman. It's all good. No worries."
"Okay ladies. Sounds like you have things well in hand. If you need anything else at all that falls short of the Oval Office deal with Sharri Berg. She's on notice in New York and will be available all night long for you. She's eager to help out. Everybody wants to be a part of a win, and this is going to be a big Win. Probably the biggest. You ladies are in charge. It's your names on it."
"Have a good night Roger. Get some sleep." The Skype screen froze and beeped off. Ailes got on the phone with Adelson who seemed pleased. A short text to Rupert and his night would continue on, at least until he heard from Paul Ryan. Then he could get some sleep. One way or the other.
* * * * *
"How'd you know they'd be calling? Really. How come Tina Tchen called you and not me? Things are going to change around here come January. I promise you. What are they coming for? Why doesn't she know that?"
Michelle stared at the empty glass of what was crisp white Vouvray that had been nicely chilled just 45 minutes ago and now gone.
"Barry, chill. I don't know. I tell you what I know, not what I think I know."
"Well, what do you think you know?"
"I think those two crackers are trying to screw you somehow. What else is there to think? When was the last time McConnell called for an appointment? You'd better put on your cast iron jock or get a jar full of KY because they're not up at 11pm for a chat. They're down there now talking things over. They'll be up in a half hour. Just you wait. You know how to do that. You do it very well. It's your strength. Use it."
"Are the girls asleep?"
"How do I know? Of course they're asleep. Maybe not. What kind of question is that? Just chill, Barry. This is going to be a good one. Settle in. You're so much better than them. Just Be better than them. You've got this. All I know is what you know. Their ship is sinking. Deal with the rats. You can do that. Just don't get nipped. Not too badly. You've got this. This is what you do. I'm going to listen. Is that alright?"
"Sure. Sure. Has Marion gone to bed?"
"What do you care about my mother for? She knows when to sleep and when not. I don't ask her when she sleeps. She's good. The girls are good. You've got something good coming up. Just know that. This is something Good. You just make it even better. Lay back and relax. This is what you do best. You've got them. Just play them. You've got six months to go. A full 24 seconds, right? Just play that clock. Your team is right here. Lay back and listen. Take what they give. Then decide. They're giving something. That old bastard's not up at an hour from midnight for the fun of it. They're going to give something. Something pretty big. Hey, what if I just walk in? Won't that set them aside? I can do that. What do you think?"
"No. You're overthinking it. I'm overthinking it. I'll just wait. It's only another twenty minutes. I think we've got something here. We'll wait twenty minutes and find out. How come Tina didn't call me? I'm telling you. Things are going to change around here after January. Big time."
* * * * *
"That's it. He's committed a Hate Crime. Many of them. Jim Comey is right outside that door ready to enforce the law. He'll arrest him with a proper warrant. All you have to do is have Loretta Lynch authorize it, authorize the proper paperwork and Comey will do the rest. He'll hand him off en route to the Hoover Building before Trump's lawyers can get to a judge. Brennan will take him from there and off to Gitmo. Out of reach. He's a walking National Security threat. Brennan is right outside sitting beside Comey. They're both on board. FBI and CIA. All you have to do is give the order, an Executive Order to your Attorney General. If there's any question that he's committed hate crimes, let the courts decide. It's a sure thing that 79% of the American People think so. Your people. Your country. We need to stand together on this." Ryan paused and used those clear blue eyes that had stood him so well in the past. McConnell leered behind his glasses, eyes magnified like a Disney character.
POTUS sat back and took it in. Okay, now. Go left.
"And what do I get out of all this?"
Ryan. "What do you mean, 'What do you get?'? You get justice for the American people. You get to rid the country of the worst stench in our history. You get to stand up to the billionaire class and show America what you're really worth. This will be your legacy. Ridding the country of the worst threat to our democracy since World War II. This is your legacy. That's what you get."
Obama. Go Right; "What else?"
McConnell: "I'll giveyouGarlandinaweek."
Obama plants: "Eh?"
McConnell rises: I'll have Merrick Rosenwald confirmed by the Judiciary Committee within a week's time of Trump's arrest."
Ryan's hand reaches out and wordlessly settles McConnell back in his seat.
Obama sets: "Seven days? What about Cruz?"
Ryan reaches in: "We've got Cruz. We've got people in Texas. We've got Cruz."
Obama: "People in Texas? You've got people in Texas? What have you been saving them for? You've got no people in Texas."
"He'll be outvoted. He's just one vote. Mitch will get it out of committee, to the floor and to a vote. The senators all love Rosenwald. You know that. They want to just give their constitutional advice and consent and be done with it. Everybody wins. " Ryan exhaled.
McConnell didn't move a muscle, except for that slight hand tremor that had just started outside the Oval. He was a bit worried about that. Wonder if Elaine had noticed? Just get this meeting over. Just get it done. Call Adelson. Go home. It was late. Was it time to go? It was. It was time to go. Ryan's hand was still on his leg. He didn't move any further.
Obama looks up: "I think this would be something for Loretta Lynch to handle. Maybe get Hillary's input?"
Ryan goes for it: "Lynch? Yes of course. Of course call the Attorney General. By all means Mr. President. But Hillary? Why Hillary?"
Obama: "Why not? Will you gentlemen excuse me for a minute while I make a call or two?'
Ryan is off the floor falling into the crowd as Barack swoops into the basket unobstructed. The two congressmen are left sitting on the sofa as The President leaves by the side door. They stare at each other.
McConnell: "Is he going to do it?"
Ryan: "Of course he is. But what else is he going to do? Why Hillary? What do we need Hillary for? What does he need Hillary for?"
McConnell" "Can we go now?"
Ryan: "Wait. Just wait a minute"
Comey and Brennan shared a late cup of coffee.
"Longer than I thought." said Comey.
Brennan just sipped.
Michelle met Barry's gaze with a quizzical kind of cuteness that reminded him of their days dating. He had it. He knew he had it. He just wasn't quite sure exactly what he had. Not yet. But it was coming, and he would wait. Waiting worked. Sometimes you just had to wait in order to find the right wait. This felt right. He sat with Michelle. She was silent, as was Barry.
Hillary? Bill? Maybe both. Maybe neither. We needed to just wait a bit. Give things a chance to perk.
* * * * *
Barbra said, "We need to get a crew into Gitmo. Is that going to be possible?"
"We can only ask, but it's a Must." said Lynda.
"Time for America to open up about that place anyway. Good chance to make a clean breast of it. They'll go for it. I'll give it a Crack. Those blokes are easier than you think.” Linda continued. "If I don't break through, you just step in and take it home. I've never met an American military that couldn't be had by an Aussie Bird. Certainly not two of us. We'll get the cameras in. No doubt."
"But that place is all solitary, isn't it? I wanted to get some interaction with Trump and all those Muslims. That would be something, wouldn't it? Maybe they could give him a new roommate every week or so? Watch him try to make deals with them? Wonder if they have any Mexicans at Gitmo? That would be good. Maybe we could convince them to bring some in? Special for us. I mean special for them. Maybe it would be a good interrogation technique? Catch the old Donald off-guard and all, you know? Maybe throw in a Black or two? Make him feel like he was back in Queens, you know? He'll loosen up. We can do this job better than those Yanks if they give us a chance."
Barbra seemed quite comfortable with this project. She was good. Always at the top of her class. Linda was the Senior here, and that was fine. Linda was smart, quick and just a bit dodgy when she had to be. That was good. Let Linda lead the parade. Keep her up front. She gets the credits. I'll just do the work. I like the work. I'd like to get this Donald down on his knees. Megyn was a great choice. She'll be the first of us girls. She earned it. Linda can run this show. Sharri Berg will back her to the hilt. Trump never should have made that remark about Elie Wiesel. I think that finished it for him anyway. The goat-headed jerk had to say it out loud. Just had to.
"And my sincerest condolences to the Weasel family. Elie was a big important Jew. He was a Beeyoutiful man. What a Jew. A Jew to be proud of. My daughter Ivanca is a Jew now, you know. Yeah. She married a Jew named Jared. He’s a very important person in my organization now. You need Jews in this world. They're my favorite people. They love me.
What's that? What’d you say? Weasel. Elie Weasel. He just died. It's a tragedy. What? What do you mean WeeZELLL? Weasel, Weezell, what difference does it make? He's a Jew. A big important Jew. Some people I know call him Weasel. Some very important Jews I know call him Weasel. Isn’t that the way you say it? He's a Jew. You say tomayto, I say tomahto. Who cares? He's famous and I miss him. My whole family misses him. My daughter Ivanca especially. Weasel, WeeZELL? Who cares? He’s a famous Jew and he's gone now. Show some respect."
That was on 60 Minutes. Lara Logan had gotten it out of him and just sat back and let him run with it. She never interrupted once, just smiled and urged him on.
Sharri heard it and about 14 million viewers. Biggest audience since Obama in his first term. It just took off from there. It wasn't just the Jews. He'd already beaten them down with his Hillary/ six pointed star tweet. It was the world. But all that mattered to Linda and Barbra was that Shari Berg was on their side and putting in the extra miles to make this happen. Sharri had suggested that they go for the 24-hour coverage with a hidden mike and camera. Catch the interaction between Trump and the real people. The real FBI agents. The real CIA agents. The real Muslims, real Mexicans, real African Americans. Just keep it going day after day. It might never go stale. The Art of the Deal. Trump at his Best.
America saved. The world saved.
But as that thought passed through Barbra's mind, Barack sat with Michelle pondering.
Barbra and Lynda had made their calls. The crews were assembling. None of them knew why. It was just the two ladies on that $64 million Gulfstream G650 hoping for the tailwinds that would allow them a non stop flight straight on through to their private hangar in Long Beach. Time to take a nap. The Gulfstream had full size beds, more comfortable than her wonderful flat in Milson Point looking over the Harbor Bridge and the Opera House. This was going to be a performance beyond compare. From Sydney to New York To Belgrade, Paris, Tokyo and Rio. The whole world would be watching 24 hours a day every day as the Donald made deals to stay alive and comfortable. Payback was truly "a bitch" as the Americans would say. So would Megyn, Lynda, Barbra, Lara and Sharri.
to be continued...